What is the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by the ear. Listening, however, is something you consciously choose to do, and requires our brains to process meaning from words and sentences. Listening leads to learning.

So, have you checked your child’s hearing – or rather, listening – lately? His physical mechanics may be fine, but his listening and understanding may need some fine-tuning. All of our little angels have occasional “selective hearing” when it’s chore time or bed time, but often comprehension can get garbled even when they don’t intend it. Mixed messages can lead to both classroom confusion and playground conflict, which becomes a problem for both kids and parents. Here’s one example:  “I got all the questions right on the
test!” Jay announced on the way home from school. His carpool partner, Daniel, was silent. After Jay was dropped off at home, Daniel complained. “Jay brags about being so smart and thinks no one else can get 100 on the test. He said I’m stupid. I don’t want to be his friend anymore.”

Daniel’s mom was struck by Daniel’s interpretation. “What Jay said, and what Daniel heard, were two completely different things!” she said. “Sure, Jay was excited, but Daniel’s reaction was a bit out of proportion.” Marty, a mother of two, has experienced this phenomenon with her children as well. “They accuse each other of saying things which I know they did not say. Then, one child wants me to punish the other.”

How a child analyzes and interprets what he hears is at least half of the communication equation. Accurate interpretation is key to developing healthy relationships and a positive self-concept. When children project flawed perceptions on others, they diminish their ability to interact and respond effectively. You can help
your child improve listening skills in a number of ways using what I like to call “creative hearing aides.”
Encourage your child to ask questions such as, “Can you repeat that,” and “Did you want me to feel…?” Make these a part of your communication at home, and take the time needed to clarify meaning and intention.

If you are a referee among siblings or playmates, have each child repeat exactly what they heard word for word. Ask children to share with one another the tone or body language that conveyed misinformation.

If a child is overly sensitive and easily jumps to conclusions, an emotional inventory may be useful. Gently guide a child to recognize feelings such as jealousy, fear or anger. Feelings can create interference or static from within. Emotions are inaccurate translators, and can distort the words of others. Flawed “hearing” can increase a child’s sensitivity in social situations and result in a pattern of hurt feelings.

These steps won’t help your child much if you don’t practice what you preach. When communication issues arise, check to see if your own listening skills need fine-tuning, and train yourself to keep your own emotional responses in check by following the guidelines above. It is true that humans – adults and children alike – may hear what they expect, or what they want to hear. Is there emotional interference, or static from within?

To improve perception, always ask the question: Is that what was said, or is that what I heard?

Diana owns and operates Dramatic Adventures, Inc. delivering classes in Social, Emotional and Problem solving development for children. Look for Fairytales and Feelings and Super Hero Academy in your area. For more information call 303-377-0785 or visit our website at www.dramaticadventures.com.

In this difficult economy, with unemployment rates soaring, job security is a precious commodity. If you’re fortunate enough to be employed, it’s quite likely that you aren’t willing to do anything to risk this security. However, this may mean that you overlook or ignore various forms of on-the-job mistreatment, unfair actions by your boss, or even blatant discrimination. Does this sound familiar? Employers have the option of making many decisions regarding their employees, but there are actions taken by employers all the time that affect their employees and are actually prohibited by law. As I often say to clients, unfortunately it’s not illegal for an employer to be a jerk. Fortunately though, it is illegal to discriminate in employment based on various  personal characteristics.

Race, Religion, National Origin Discrimination
Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, any form of discrimination based on race, religion or national origin is strictly prohibited. This means that employers cannot make any employment decisions based on these characteristics. Examples of employment decisions that might be influenced by discrimination include hiring, firing, salary, transfers, promotions, layoffs and benefits. Harassment based on these characteristics is also prohibited.

Gender Discrimination/Sexual harassment
Title VII also protects individuals from mistreatment based on gender. This includes everything from blatant sexual harassment, such as requests for sexual favors in exchange for promotions or advancement, to more subtle actions like jokes that make you uncomfortable or a suggestive calendar or poster hung in plain view at the office. It is prohibited for employers to make job conditions hostile toward one gender, such as only hiring and promoting males in a male-dominated workplace. Same-gender sexual harassment or discrimination is also prohibited. For example, a female employer could be liable for discrimination against other women if she gives preferential treatment to male employees.

Pregnancy Discrimination
Discrimination based on pregnancy, pregnancy-related medical conditions or pregnancy-related leave is also illegal. Employers cannot make any adverse employment decision, such as hiring, firing or promotion, based on a woman’s pregnancy or recent childbirth. Pregnancy should be treated as any other temporary medical condition. Additional rights are available under the Family Medical Leave Act.

Age Discrimination
If you are 40 or older, you are protected by the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA). The ADEA prohibits discrimination in hiring, firing, benefits, promotion or layoff based on age.

Disability Discrimination
If you have a disability that affects a major life activity, such as walking, hearing, seeing, lifting/grasping or concentrating, you are protected under The Americans with Disabilities Act. Individuals who are regarded as disabled by their employer (but who may not have an actual disability) are also protected. Employers must provide accommodations that are reasonable and that won’t impose an undue hardship on their business. Examples of reasonable accommodations include wheelchair-accessible entrances, restrooms and workstations; flexible schedules for medical appointments; reducing or eliminating physical exertion; modifying a work space and job duties; and allowing disabled employees to work from home. Employers must evaluate each request on an individual basis to determine whether it would constitute an undue hardship (usually financial) on their business.

I think i’m a victim of discrimination. what should i do?
The first, and often most productive, course of action is to talk to your employer or your employer’s Human Resources department. Depending on the size of the business, employers are often unaware of discriminatory actions taking place in individual departments or by individual supervisors. Often a written complaint and request for change can correct the problem. If this isn’t effective, the next step is to determine whether your employer is covered under federal equal employment opportunity laws. Title VII (race, religion, national origin, gender, pregnancy) and the Americans with Disabilities Act cover all private and public employers with 15 or more employees.  Age discrimination laws cover employers with 20 or more employees.  If your employer is covered and you wish to file a complaint of discrimination, the first step is to contact your local Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) office. They will guide you through the process of filing a charge and then perform an investigation, if necessary. It is important to note that filing a charge of discrimination with the EEOC is mandatory before filing a claim of discrimination in court. It is also important to recognize that there are strict time limits when filing claims of discrimination. Check with your local EEOC office (303 E. 17th Avenue, Suite 510, 800-669-4000) to determine the specific time line as it applies to your case. A good rule of thumb is to file a claim as soon as discrimination is suspected to avoid missing any deadlines.

Unfortunately discrimination is alive and well in today’s workplace.  The good news is that there are multiple protections provided for employees and suffering without recourse is not necessary. For more information on employment discrimination laws or to file a charge, visit the EEOC website at www.eeoc.gov.

Alexandra Smits is a Denver attorney specializing in employment law.  She can be reached at (720) 254-3082 or ali@smitslegal.com

The holidays are upon us, and what better way to look great in holiday pictures than brightening your smile! There are many tooth whitening procedures that are available, but The American Dental Association recommends that you first be evaluated by your oral health care professional to determine
which treatment option best fits you.

Before whitening, first think about what caused your smile to be not-so-bright in the first place. Tooth staining can be caused by a variety of factors. As we get older, teeth darken due to general wear and tear, and age tends to affect translucency or thinness of teeth as well. It’s easier to bleach thicker, opaque teeth than it is to whiten thin, brittle teeth, which is why a teenager may see a greater lightening effect than an older individual who’s experienced a lifetime of stain.

Extrinsic staining due to coffee, soda, tea and red wine is quite responsive to most whitening methods, and yellow/brown stains are easier to whiten that grey tones. No matter what your whitening issue, up to 95% of patients will see a brightening effect upon bleaching, although there are some stains that are tough to remove. Smoking and tobacco stain is less susceptible to whitening since these stains penetrate deep into secondary tooth layers, making bleaching more difficult. Trauma to the teeth, childhood fevers and tetracycline exposure can lead to brown bands on teeth that can be impervious to whiteners. Excessive fluoride ingestion or use also can lead to brown spots (called mottling) that can’t be bleached. Usually these patients need to bleach for a longer period of time (months or years), and not all methods may work. Grinding or clenching (called “bruxism” by us dentists) is usually caused by stress and may cause teeth to darken. Cracks are created, and this leads to stain. This stain is usually susceptible to bleaching but not always.

The best method to keep teeth white is to take care of them the natural way. Limit your consumption of tooth staining beverages. Stop smoking! Your pearly whites will thank you as will the rest of your vital organs. Peroxide rinses (mild ones) will aid in whitening due to a bubbling effect that leaves the best method to keep teeth white is to take care of them the natural way.

teeth surfaces smooth and less susceptible to plaque accumulation. Whitening toothpastes or pastes containing baking soda can minimize further yellowing as well. If you are a gum chewer, try a whitening gum or a product containing xylitol. Used in Sweden for years, xylitol whitens by stimulating salivary production. A professional cleaning every 6 months by your dental hygienist will keep surface stains at a minimum. Modern dental technology has special pastes and tools, such as ultrasonic scalers, that will leave tooth surfaces extra smooth and plaque-free. If these methods aren’t yielding results then professional whitening can be an option.

The bleaching method involves an oxidizing agent called carbamide peroxide which penetrates deep into the tooth layer, leading to whitening of the enamel. There are two main methods of bleaching-take-home whitening or laser whitening, which is performed in the dental office. Take-home bleaching involves the fabrication of custom-fit trays and applying bleach for one to two hours every day for two weeks. Some trays can be worn overnight depending on the concentration of bleach. Every couple of months a touch-up might be needed, depending on dietary habits. Laser or in-office whitening involves applying a high concentration of carbamide peroxide to the tooth surface, changing the chemical composition of the enamel. The effect is short-lived and ultimately trays must be fabricated to maintain the desired shade.

Side effects of bleaching include chemical burn (if too much of the bleaching agent is used), sensitivity to hot and cold, gum irritation, sore throat (due to swallowing bleach) and overbleaching (teeth start to have a blue hue). Not everyone can bleach and not every mouth will see noticeable change. Children under 14 should not bleach, because the pulp chamber is enlarged and still forming, and is susceptible to sensitivity. Pregnant women or women who are breastfeeding should not bleach their teeth. A mouth with multiple crowns or restorations should not bleach. These restorations will not change color.
Ask your dentist what option is best for you, and make sure you’re focusing on the health of your teeth as much as you are on the color. Now get ready for your close-up!

Dr. Preet Clair has been practicing dentistry in Colorado for the past eight years. Please contact her at Quebec Square Family Dentistry, 303.322.2081.

Chilly temperatures and falling snow in Colorado can only mean one thing: ski and snowboard season has officially begun. Preparation is essential to keep you skiing or riding longer, harder and safer this winter, which is why you should start training at least 4 to 6 weeks before hitting the hill. Your efforts should focus on building stamina and endurance, improving balance and coordination, and increasing flexibility and agility. The following exercises are specifically designed to improve strength, flexibility and muscle response
in the major muscle groups you’ll be using and abusing when bombing down the mountain this year.

Before you begin your exercises, it’s important to always complete a 15-minute warm-up with light cardio, keeping breaks between sets to 10 seconds or less.

Front to Side planks
Balance on your toes and elbows, with the elbows directly aligned under the shoulders and the forearms flat on the ground. Keep the hips even and the back flat, while drawing the navel into the spine and bracing the abdominal core. Maintaining abdominal core strength, rotate the body to the side, stack the feet, and balance on one elbow. Feet should be stacked one on top of the other, knees should be extended, and a straight line should be drawn from the top of the head, though the spine and hips, to the ankles. Return both elbows to the floor and repeat plank on the opposite side. Hold each position for 15-30 seconds, repeating for 3 sets.

One leg lunge with Bicep Curl

Using a fit ball, weight bench, or chair, prop the right lower leg behind you. Bend the left knee, slowly lowering into a lunge. Making sure the left knee remains directly above the ankle, squeeze through the heels back to a standing position. Contract through the abdominal core and pelvis while both
lowering and rising from the lunge. For added intensity, add a bicep curl using dumbbells as you deepen into the lunge. Complete 10-15 lunges on each side, repeating for 3 sets.

Speed-racing triceps Curl
Squat into a tuck position with feet hip width apart, knees bent to 90 degrees, back flat to the floor. Look forward and keep your hips down. Squeeze upper arms into the side of the ribcage while extending the elbows toward the ceiling, contracting into the triceps. Perform 10-15 triceps extensions, repeating for 3 sets.

One-legged airplane Squats
Stand on one leg, kicking the opposite leg straight behind you, while leaning the torso forward. Head, neck, back, hips, and extended leg should remain in one straight line, and body should remain parallel with the floor. Hold both arms back along the torso, 45 degrees away from the body (like airplane wings). Balancing on one leg, lower down into a one-legged squat position. Rise back up, body parallel to the floor. Squat 10-15 times per leg, repeating for 3 sets.

No matter how fit and strong you are, injuries can still occur, and taking care of your body doesn’t end with physical exercise. Ward off injury and stress to your body by increasing circulation, decreasing inflammation, increasing the strength of your immune system and releasing toxins and tension from those well-used muscles. Acupuncture, chiropractic therapy and massage therapy are treatment options that can help you achieve these goals and optimize health. Used individually and in combination, these tools will keep you shredding the slopes.

For questions regarding the exercises in this article, please call Natural Balance Integrative Health at (303) 355-0363, or visit the website at www.nbih.com.

JS: Well, I’d been working in nightclubs for years – I owned a bar, a live music joint, on South Broadway with my brother – and was looking to move on from that. My wife, Mary Ellen, was working in real estate and just hating it, she just wasn’t having any fun. We have family in New York City and would visit a lot and go to all those great Italian markets, and realized that there really wasn’t anything like that in Denver. Eventually I said to myself “I can do that.” I’d pass this spot all the time, and back then it was just a run-down convenience store. We thought that it would make a good spot for a market, so we got in touch with the owners and eventually convinced them to sell to us.

ATC: Spinelli’s is obviously something of a neighborhood institution. How is Park Hill (and it’s inhabitants) different today than it was when you opened your doors 14 years ago?

JS: The neighborhood has changed, sure, but it’s still the same great neighborhood. Mary Ellen grew up here, went to Blessed Sacrament over on Elm, so we know this area inside and out. It’s really diverse here. We’ve got all kinds of customers, and it’s been like that since we opened. I think that’s what makes Park Hill a great place to live.

ATC: Everyone says the same thing about Spinelli’s: the deli is always stocked and fresh, the prepared entrees are spectacular…but the best thing about this place is that Jerry and Mary Ellen know your name when you walk in the door and make you feel like family. The neighborhood has embraced you because you’ve embraced it, it seems–has it always been thisway, or did you struggle to find your niche when you first opened?

JS: We struggled a little—the neighborhood was skeptical of us. The owners
who were here before us had a decent thing going with what was just a cigarette shop, really, a convenience store. So the first month we were open I started to bring in fresh produce, and the neighborhood people got curious, started checking us out. And within the first six or seven months we got the deli up and running and business just started to take off. Now we have a monthly menu of prepared entrees, which is really popular.

ATC: Who does the cooking and creates the recipes?

JS: Our talented chef is Chris Rodgers, who has been with us for about nine years now. I used to do the cooking before Chris came on board - I still make the pomorola sauce that goes into a lot of our lasagnas and prepared dinners – but Chris has done most of the cooking for a long time now, and also started
Spinelli’s Sauce Company with me.

ATC: When did Spinelli’s Sauce Company come to be? Where can people find your sauces?

JS: Chris and I started Spinelli’s Sauce Company about a year and a half ago. We sell our sauces here at Spinelli’s, obviously, and at Whole Foods, King Soopers, and Tony’s.

ATC: I know that you’ve spent some time in Italy. How did that experience affect the products you make and sell? How did it affect your attitude toward food and eating?

JS: Yes, I’ve been to Italy several times, and my family is from there. I absolutely love the culture, and especially the food culture. In America we eat on the run, we eat processed foods all the time. In Italy it’s much more about sharing a meal with friends and family, taking your time, and enjoying fresh, local foods, so yes, I try to bring that concept to Spinelli’s. I strongly believe that healthy, fresh, good food is every person’s right—this is how I got into the Slow Food Movement.

ATC: Tell me more about the Slow Food Movement. What is it? When did you get involved in it?

JS: The Slow Food Movement is an international organization that promotes good, clean and fair food. The movement’s philosophy is that the food we eat should taste good; that it should be produced in a clean way that doesn’t harm the environment, animal welfare or our health; and that food producers should
receive fair compensation for their work. Believing that you have the right to good, quality food every day isn’t elitist - good food is for everyone. I first got involved with a few neighborhood people – Harry Walker, Sally Kennedy, and Matt Jones - we’d just get together here at Spinelli’s and drink wine and eat good food and talk about how to spread the concept and philosophy in Denver. Now Matt heads up the Slow Food Convivium in Denver and has a lot of interesting projects he’s working on.

ATC: What are some resources for east Denver residents who are interested in learning more about the Slow Food Movement?

JS: Well, for one, there’s a great publication out there called Edible Front Range that focuses on local Colorado food, farms and cuisine (www.ediblefrontrange.com). Check out www.slowfooddenver.org or www.slowfoodUSA.org for information on local and national Slow Food events.

ATC: What is the secret to running a successful business?

JS: One thing: You have to be consistent, every single day. If you say you’re opening the doors at 9am every day, you have to open the doors at 9am every day, no matter what. People want consistency. I spend a lot of time here, and there’s a reason for that – I have to know that my business is running how I want it to run.

ATC: When the two of you decide to retire will your children take over the business?

JS: No way—my kids are too smart for this! My daughter is working on her master’s degree in sociology with a concentration in Marxist theory, and my son is an actor in LA, so they’re not coming back to run Dad’s business. But that’s OK, because we’re not going anywhere.

A scalper outside of Coors Field gives a father and son two World Series tickets-for free. A man pays the E-470 toll for himself and the 20 cars behind him.  Strangers in a beat-up pickup truck give away free turkeys in Capitol Hill, just two days before Thanksgiving. These Robin Hoods don’t say much; they gently refuse payment and graciously accept thanks; they grin at your spluttering whys and press a weighty, grooved coin into your palm. “Karma,” they say, before fading into the crowd or the dark or the 5 o-clock traffic. And as the coin warms in your hand you decipher a website and a simple phrase: “Spread the love: Keep the change.” Welcome, friend, to the Karma Club.

It’s not a new idea, this do-gooding. Jesus had the golden rule, Haley Joel Osment had “Pay it Forward.” But the Karma Club brings these concepts home to our own neighborhood and helps us tell the stories of our friends, our neighbors, and ourselves. It’s an accessible method of philanthropy that’s based on small acts of kindness rather than grand gestures. Just visit the website (www.karma-club.org), order a coin (they’re free) and do something nice for someone. Scrape the ice off your neighbor’s windshield and leave a coin under the wiper blade. He’ll pocket the coin, record the story on the website, and maybe next week he’ll help somebody change a flat tire. And a new thread will begin.

The Karma Club is the brainchild of Denver restaurateur, entrepreneur, TV host, writer and idealist Nick Mystrom, who, in his own words, is no saint. “I’m just trying to get back to even,” jokes Mystrom, who’s had
the concept for the Karma Club banging around in his head since he was just a kid growing up in Anchorage, AK. “I’ve had a certain degree of success in my life and had been looking for a way to give back, and honestly I wasn’t that impressed with what I saw out there. The Karma Club is my way of giving back.”

The genesis for the Karma Club occurred during a fateful night at a Denny’s restaurant when Mystrom was
eight years old. “My family and I were at dinner and we were on a really tight budget back then; I think we had a 10 dollar budget for family of five, and when my dad got the bill he didn’t have enough money to pay. A guy came up to us and said that we looked like a great family and that he’d like to pick up the bill, which he did. I don’t think my dad shut up about that for 30 years.”

At his dad’s request, Mystrom and his siblings now forego gifts each year in favor of buying another family dinner, and this spirit of giving became the impetus for the Karma Club movement that’s gradually gaining legs in Denver and all over the country. “When I shifted attention from “What can I get” to “What can I
give,” I noticed a shift in consciousness where more positive things happen in my life”, says Mystrom.

Blake Snowden, operations head of the Karma Club’s “Karma Army,” says that the Karma Club has changed his perspective.

“I have to admit, I’m a cynical guy,” says Snowden, “but it feels good to help people, and the Karma Coins are a reminder that you can make someone’s day every single day.”

Snowden might’ve made your day last year when he gave away free turkeys outside of the Capitol Building right before Thanksgiving last year. “We pulled up and just started yelling “Free turkeys!” to people on the street,” remembers Snowden with a smile. “People looked at us like we were nuts at first, and a lot of them just couldn’t accept that we didn’t want anything in return. But we gave out 100 turkeys last year, along with 100 karma coins, and sure enough the stories started turning up on the website. It felt great.”

Snowden and the other members of the Karma Army have plans for more events in Denver during this holiday season, and encourage whoever is interested to get involved. “You’re doing your part if all you do is hold the door open for someone at work this week,” says Snowden. “The Karma Army gains a solider each time you do a good deed. But there are bigger events planned, so write to the website if you want to get in on the action.” At least one Karma Club event will take place in downtown Denver and will be recorded by Fox News sometime in November. “Our plans aren’t set in stone yet, but it’s gonna be good,” Snowden says with a cryptic grin, clearly excited by the latest Karma Club scheme.

His enthusiasm is contagious, and it’s easy to see why this concept is taking off. Mystrom, Snowden, and the thousands of others who have given of themselves in large and small ways for the sake of kindness and good karma want you to realize just how easy this is.

So, if every single holiday season you tell yourself that this year you’re definitely going to volunteer at a soup kitchen, or run that church fundraiser, or give to a charity instead of exchanging gifts…and then don’t, don’t worry. Start by ordering a Karma Coin, and then do something small for someone else. It doesn’t have to be expensive, extravagant, or a lot of work-you can help someone with their bags at the supermarket, or fold the laundry that’s left in your apartment building’s dryer instead of leaving it in a wrinkly heap. Whether you’re already feeling good about your place in the universe or are long overdue for a contribution to the
karma fund, a heartfelt “thank you” from a stranger is all it will take to put life back into perspective. “No kind action ever stops with itself,” said Amelia Earhart. The Karma Club is asking you to prove her right.